extinguish.

hey there,

im back and again nothing comes out of my head if i try to think of what to put here. The best solution is just to stay steady and go random with everything. And just quietly drop dimes. One thing im very glad is that im chatting with Gracie again. I call her Gracie Prozac. I really enjoy talking to her and stuff. Im just glad.

I got nothing going on really, Gracie took most of my depression away. And its a bad habit to write only when you are depressed. And i get depressed by a lot of things, they just kind of merge into a huge snowball and you know, hit you... so yeah, stress can be relieved and life can be enjoyed and all that shit... Im thinking of morbid stuff more often now, like how i my gonna maul senseless a fucking thief or a robber if ever i meet one, what words do i say and how brutl im gonna be. Ah, the great depression of life. I wonder how it feels like to end someone's life. Nah, its too morbid for me. Im such the nice fat kid.

Summer is here. And i definitely hate it.

There's a lot happening during the summer season, most of it is really fucked up. One has to be careful of what could happen on the course of this year's most dreadful season. In my part i gotta brace for it because its gonna be a long lonely ass summer, but the good part is that im gonna make plenty of money, i hope. I just hate summer, plain and simple. But yeah, ill just expect whatever and face it and swallow the bitter pill if i have to. Fuck you summer.

One thing i did that made me proud yesterday is that i worked-out, 600kcals non-stop. I think thats great. I was pretty tiring and all but i did it and i enjoyed doing it.. The better part is that i didnt have any pain strain on my legs. Which is really cool. Ill trying repeating my feat today if things go smoothly.

I still have a lot to do...
I have to wash my sheets, fix my bags, buy bus tickets, buy rap's party flavors. I hope Leann could understand that i need time to do all that stuff. Sigh, im such the weaklings when it comes to arguments. FUCK.

"well this is what would be oh glory."

LHC

Hey there,

Im really really inspired by the paramore song - Let the flames begin. For me, its the best paramore song ever. Its kinda dark but its very emotional and it evokes hope and you know.. The lyrics are very meaningful and it somehow pushes you not to give up or give in to anything that puts you down. Even everything seems to be falling apart, you can still move on and fight back.

And Hayley is such a darling...plus on this song, you can jump around and headbang. Now how many of us is longing for a paramore concert here? Grr.

Also, ive been listening a lot to Pupil, they got good songs too. My favorites are "Bato", Matador and Disconnection Notice. DN sometimes makes me feel more insane than usual. I really find myself now talking more and more random things than usual. eek.

I just got elected as the new LHC. Kudos to me. I know ill do a great job only if im supported well enough. There will be haters but i dont care, i gotta be focused on all of my goals. If not we all fail.
I know that i got a lot of things to fix but let me just do it one step at a time.

My head hurts and i wanna feel the pleasure of napping. I played DDR yesterday and i played well and burned aroud 300kcals maybe. I had fish for dinner. Man, i love seafood. Vacation's almost here and pip and i are going back to seafood paradise. The steamed lapulapu, the spiced crab in tomato sauce, the huge prawns, the fresh blue marlins... God..

Kudos also to Boss Gid. You deserve it and you definitely earned the position. We are going to support Theta all the way.

My head hurts again as i think about all the inactive members that are going back, i am going to demand for their time and respect. Although i have to earn their respect as well. I must not be scared of these challenges and i will radiate my authority to them and show them who's boss. But yeah, its my leadership i gotta show. Its tough, we are still on the bottom of the pit.

Im still looming over the thought of how would i react to the returning members who would dislike me as their leader. again, my head hurts.

one - they werent around to know me better.
two - should they want another person, they should have given time to attend the fucking elections.
three - should they want another person, they should have been appearing in meetings even if they are inactive. At least they know what's in the loop. Or who's doing what and such.

my head continues to hurt and wonders if i spelled correctly the word - "they".

I strongly disagree to absentee voting, im afraid that those other members who didnt hear me talk in the GPOA will not respect me as the new LHC. I heard a brod even describing me over the phone as - yung nagmamagic. Its totally unfair to both Chad and I.

I wonder, if i am still yet to adapt to the diliman culture.
I wonder, if i am able to change this culture for the better.

But still, my heartfelt thanks to all the people who supports my cause.
Thanks!

Not much.

Hi there,

Feels like too much happened during the weekend, so much stuff to do, but thats alright because i gotta get busy all the time. Now i hate just doing nothing with my time say just bumming around... id like to be productive and dynamic whether or not what im doing is benificial. I got tons of free time anyway. So lets start with talking about the past Friday the 13th, oh, so horrible that night was.....

The JJ's hate-rage.

Okay so last friday was the last day (methinks) of the UP FEBFAIR and foolish me, didnt anticipate the ridiculously huge crowd that flocked in, wanting to cramp themselves inside the Fairgrounds. I think there were over five to ten thousand people there, mostly UP students who just finished a damning hell-week (week full of exams and reports) so most of them just wanted to have a good time at the fair, maybe watch the rock concert and look at the different stuff in display there. So around 8pm i went there and (sweet jesus) the line for the tickets is quite long and people snitching and jocking for position just so to have tickets. I know its now ridiculous to go inside the Fair but then, i really wanted to go in because in the back of my head i wanted to perform... so i still went there, met a couple of friends and bought tix. If i thought that the line for the tix was long, i was shocked when i learned that the line for the entrance was around 10 times longer. So yeah, i say, eff it, im not going anymore and i hate these kind of over-crowded events where anything can happen. So, i sold my tix to a bloke, and went home. (played fifa for the rest of the night).. Pip and Cess luckily got connections and they got in easily thru the back stage and actually watched the concert near the stage, but not enough to be slamming with the RTARD JJ's (JUMPING JOLOGS) hellish moshpit.

Ahh, the foul odored, hate-black laden, skinny jeans and funny hair and creepy eyeliner JJ's. Emo posers. Losers. Retards. Sigh, i dont pity them, i simply hate them. You can see them at every rock concert where slapshock or chicosci is playing. Jesus Christ. Seriously, you can smell them from a mile away cause they stink so bad. But yeah, just now i realized that as much as i hate them, i cant do anything about it but just to avoid them, they are part of the society anyway and heck this is a free country so... yeah. Each to their own eh? (im getting bored with this story) so to make it short, the JJ's got mad because the fair organizers werent allowing people to enter the venue anymore because it reached capacity limit. What these rtards did is that they started to ram the barricades until a semi-roit broke out injuring some cops. Sigh. Glad Cess and Pip got home say. Glad i didnt pursue going in. Haha. Im impatient really.

Current wishlist: Watch Coldplay. Live in Concert. Damn.

Right now, im hooked with FIFA 09. Im just into this game. Its really really challenging... Speaking of challenges, im now pressuring myself to practice card palming, basic palming that is. Well, i do believe that the best way to hide or cover a palm is to with a good misdirection, subtle and not obvious. Just like doing a pass... (sorry for the sleight of hand lingo). Anyway, im playing deportivo la coruna on Fifa, they're an amazing team i think. Im gonna be watching more La Liga rather than basketball.. (only because my pistons suck right now and im patiently hoping for the rebuilding mode, and pls get rid of kwame brown).

Ahh, yes, time to master paul harris' Las Vegas Leaper.
also im running 3 laps on the acad oval everyday, at least twice a day. So yeah.

Til next time.

Random is back after 5 long months of not thinking!

Hey there,

So after a long time of not blogging, here i go again wanting to engage myself in a brainstorm activity just so i can bring back my writing skills from a crappy idle state. Well, not that im braindead for the previous months but i just feel like doing this.

So okay, ill try again and do an at least one entry every day. No particular topic in mind so lets go random!

> i have been hooking up with my ipod lot often right now and well, let me share my top 7 songs, some of them are not current hits and you dont care.

7.> First of Summer, by URBANDUB. - great song. powerful. i just like it.
6.> That's What You Get, by PARAMORE - for a more lively version, listen to their cd, the final riot.
5.>Viva La Vida, by COLDPLAY - very enjoyable. i can relate to the lyrics. jeex.. you know, the calm relaxing yet meaningful song of coldplay... ahh.
4.>Yugto, by RICO BLANCO - after his split with RM, he's back with a smash hit with emotionally and socially charged tune to it. talks about betrayal, adversaries and rising above it all.
3.>Three Evils, by COHEED AND CAMBRIA - a fun song by C&C and yet the rock element to it is still there, actually its still pretty much rock and its very very relaxing compared to like, Welcome Home or No World For Tomorrow. Sigh, sadly we wont see C&C here in the PH anytime soon.
2.>Say Forever, by RICO BLANCO - brilliant song by a brilliant song writer and rakista. this is just rock and roll with all that pointing heavy metal shouting.
1.>Disconnection Notice, by PUPIL - like RB, Pupil comes up with a great unique song. If i was an expat and id listen to their songs, id likely judge them as foreign rather than local. My bro and i loves to listen this one with full volume loudness. too bad i didnt see them last tuesday at the UP FAIR.

-There, on to some more Randoming. well, lemme think.. hmm.. okay this time id share my top five Video Games that im currently wasting my time on... some of them arent current but you dont care. These arent online games, which ruined my life, but yeah, thats another story.

5.> FINAL FANTASY 12 -PS2. yeah, havent done with the "dustia power-leveling trick but im not giving up yet. hehe. i still love this game and i just want to get the "tournesol" and Zodiac Spear so badly.
4.> MEDIEVAL2:TOTALWAR- PC. Yes! Finally i got the game installed. i miss TOTAL WAR action. This time its on the Medieval times! im playing England.
3.> FIFA09/MADDEN09 -PS2. ahh alas EA makes up all its shortcomings on NBALIVE09 by making a respectable football game. Madden09? its given. good game. im a sports guy.
2.>NBA 2k9 -PS2. Never get tired of this game.. keeps my imagination and story brain, going on and on. (after my GM job on Detroit, i quit then transferred to Memphis.. i then traded OJ Mayo for Stuckey. Haha. And im making Darko an all-star. - this will never happen in the real world.)
1>GOD OF WAR/ GOD OF WAR 2 - this game is the shit. very very very challenging.

Whew, feels good to be blogging again. Im afraid this is all for now.

Reset.

Hey there,

I'm excited to work. New challenges ahead and this time i really have to push myself bigtime. Since for the past months i have been nothing but a big ass sloth, so its time for change and hopefully i wont make mistakes and people around me will accept the decisions i made. But whatever happens, i should stay focused and keep my eyes on the prize. Hopefully this will turn my life around and make me recognize the elements that i can really do.

What if some people cant take the decisions you made?

I should really consider their thoughts and feelings of this and i spent countless hours of justifying the choices that i made, for one, im already 22 and im entitled to make decisions for myself... you know, stand on my own feet. Secondly, i think i know what's best for me and my sorry ass. Sigh, its really though but please God, give me the 38 days that i need to purge myself into a better person. just please help me out in this one. Support.

Just hopefully, this will give a really good boost. a really good start. Gone were the days that i loathe people for having the greater advantage because of some ill gotten wealth they had. Fuck it, obviously life isnt fair, hell neither. So i guess ill stop my head from plotting evil things for these senseless crooks and ill just see them in hell.

Okay calm down. its gotta be alright.

I had a great time doing bum stuff. Mainly watching Supernatural, playing Civ4 and Deadliest Catch.. Very enjoyable indoor stuff. Thanks too for my honey for coming for a couple of days.. it really saved my rotting soul. Made me alive for a moment there and escape the nasty realities that i have to face. I got my thing with magic going again too. im playing with my cards again and praticing everything that i know. Its good what Jm said, too keep tabs on the tricks that i already learned. I guess i got a little intimidated when i saw these uber complicated routines, i got used to praticing simply yet effective effects. So Brad Christian says, Simple HITS hard.

Right now im praticing "Reset" by Paul Harris.

Everything Evil.

This is a song by Coheed and Cambria.
It rocks.

Wait for..
Everything evil in you comes out
I'll stay when we'll only motivate sound instead, Sergeant.
Make for the table...
In hopes that I won't be afraid again
call when enabled
And send the leader out against...
I will
Stage a reenactment in a false pretense
Exist inflict
Unworthy unconsciousness
Why debate when the actions suppressed?
Then kill the acquitted
Listen to the sounds that remain in question
In hopes to solidify a truce
Amongst the children and the jury that stands the verdict alive
Here among the dead

Evolve Monstar!
Show me the things that I've never wanted done.
Evolve Monstar!
Do to me the things I never wanted done...

I... I felt much better than this before.
If they find out to avoid
Then the accidents kept hidden away
But if they stay...

Blood hungry, cannibalistic unfit family ties
In a series of knocks
To the young girl's head side
Come write me a letter and paste it on my refrigerator door
Inspected inspector,
i think we've found something over here

I... I felt much better than this before.
If they find out to avoid
Then the accidents kept hidden away
But if they stay...

Jesse!
Just come look at what your brother did here!
He did away with me.
[x2]

Stay until Wednesday,
And write me a child-like letter, pretending.
At war here in Thursday.
Let's make this our last day at home by the fence.

Would you run? Would you run?
Would you run down past the fence?
Would you run? Would you run?
Would you run down past the fence? (FBI)

And she screamed,
Claudio! Dear Claudio!
I wish, God damn it, we'll make it if you believe!
And she screamed,
Claudio! Dear Claudio!
I wish, God damn it, we'll make it if you believe! (FBI)
[voice fades]

Mental.

Hey there,

I havent blogged for about a month now and well things are quite okay so far. Of course here you are looking at a cycle in life that one who is a good smooth sailing path will eventually hit a nasty bump and stuff like that and may even hit rock bottom. So like, i hate to see everything crumble and just try and stay alive for chrissake.

One thing that influenced me a lot lately is the "Sopranos", not on a negative aspect though. I think what it thought me is you have to be tough all time, to face all your adversities. There is one too many ways of tackling a certain problem and all you have to do is start at one, if that particular solution fails, then as Paulie Walnuts said, "There is always the other option". Also the Sopranos deal with a lot of family values and how to cope with tremendous amount of pressure... ya know, stuff like that.

Here's the best bit that happened to me for just last night, i attended the Ultimate Mentalism Workshop by The Story Circle. The fee was just a hundred bucks and it wasnt even worth it. It was really really good! and after going on a 1 month abscence at the gatherings, i really missed the company of friends from the magic industry. I missed the jam sessions and stuff and wow its a really joyous experience. There's a lot of things that i learned and i hope i can apply it later tonight at LB. What a show eh? David Elefant was there giving out priceless words of wisdom, also the great Leodini who made us laugh out loud. I really enjoyed it and im really glad that i came. It inspired me to try even more at mentalism.